"Edge of Darkness"

larry jones

(On the edge of darkness & I don't give a f*ck)

(On the edge of darkness my soul is stuck)

(On the edge of darkness so f**king what)

(On the edge of darkness I'm outta luck)

 

No time for me to get my shit straight,
in my hands I clutch a .38
looking forward to my date with death,
I just can't wait.

I have a thought my soul may be thrown in hell.
all I can say is "oh well,oh f*cking well."
maybe the lord will forgive me anyways 
& allow me into his house 
with the rest of the blessed.

I tried, I tried, I f*cking tried.
I know, I know, I f*cking lied.
I stole, I stole, I f*cking stole.
my god,my god,pray for my soul.

I done many a fucked up things in my fucked up life.
I lied, I stole, I even cheated on my fucking ex-wife.

I know no one on this earth 
will forgive me for my past.
I know my lord,my god you will, 
I don't even have to ask.

I'm a great big 24 kt f*ck up.
I'm the mutha f*cka you wanna hit with a truck.
Do what it is you must.
Myself ya can't,but god you can surely trust.

Everyone wanna kill me,go the fuck ahead.
I ain't got shit to live for, I'm better off dead.
I constantly hear, I ain't never happy.
How the fuck can I be happy 
when everyone I loved is 6 feet deep?

should I put on a fake happy face?
have a 24/7 forced smile on my face?
Happiness comes in small doses anyway.
Every time I look over my shoulder 
I see my demons have come out to play.

It's the "Lust" demon.
And in my ear he's always screaming.
"Lust,lust,lust,who can ya trust?
Me,ya favorite demon in life,the demon of lust.

He creeps and he sneaks,into my mind he takes a peek.
"Larry I know what it is,
what your heart desires seek."
do it,look it up,do what ya do best,bust that nut.

I fight and I fight,but I mostly lose,
too late,oh fuck.
I grab my chest, I feel it tighten.
Is this death creeping up on me? 
go ahead death, take me,
no I won't be fighting.

All 24/7 will I get to heaven?
All these wicked thoughts,
I don't want them to win.
I have deepest remorse for my entire sinful  past.
I hate the way I lived,
everything has happened so damn fast.

Forgive me,forgive me,please forgive me.
I feel the darkness creeping.
I see the darkness,it's like a fresh slit wrist,
the bloods a seeping.

No more,do I care.
No more do i give a damn about your stares.
Look at me now, I make you sick.
Look at me now, I'm a prick.

Look at me now, I'm an asshole,aka a dick.
Look at me now, ain't this all a bitch?
All I speak may not make sense to you.
My thought process is sporadic,you haven't a clue.

My minds like that of a skit-so Vietnam vet.
Chitter chatter all I think or say don't no one get.
This is how I express myself.
This is how I keep from killing myself.

Take this away from me, 
I have nothing left.
I gotta write.
To really stop me ya gotta take my eye sight.

I see an end is coming soon 
to this bullshit mutha f*cking life.
Turn on the light,turn on the light.
Too weak to fight.

Every night I scream up 
to the heavens with all my might.
Extinguish this sadness this hellish bliss.
Where is it? where is the happiness?

I've looked and looked, it's no wheres in sight.
My lip,my tongue, I continue to bite.
Is this my selfishness?
Is this my evilness?

Is this my faithfulness?

All this,all this,all this mess.

Is just me,on the "Edge of Darkness".