Beautiful Suicide

Cassandra(Crimson)Marshall

I sink into this alluring euphoria, familiar yet unknown.
Breath lessens… Heartbeat slows…
This is my new reality, invisible yet shown.
Falling, I let the whispers of death carry me away.
Crimson tears fall from my tainted skin.

I’m sorry it has to be like this…. I hear it calling my name….
Don’t blame yourselves, I know you loved me.
Don’t remember me as you see me now…
Lying limp in the crimson puddle I created.
Remember me as the dark angel I once was.

That is what I still am…. 
My soul will forever soar the night as the dark beautiful being it is.
As I fade away in your memories…
 Let the love I had for you flow throughout your existence.
I love you all still.

My anima could not forget souls like yours….
Vibrant and alive…
Colorful are your spirits.
Beautiful are your hearts.
Stay just like that and smile when you think of me.
It’s not your fault.
Don’t ever think that for a second.
Don’t ever think that for any period of time.
I was already dead on the inside long before now.
My soul had already been gone from this mortal realm.

Don’t worry the coldness I slipped into….
It was more welcoming than the warmth of life.
I’ll no longer be broken.
I’ll no longer struggle to breathe.
I’m overjoyed.

This has released me from the pain chained to my heart for so long.
I’ll be free of the heaviness it laid upon me.
The prison of life is freeing me.
I shall take that freedom and run far from its walls.
I’ll let the vines of death’s roses wrap around me and embrace me.

They already are holding me.
It’s beautiful…. Death…
It’s not black. It’s bright. Like the universe, sparkling with stars and galaxies.
Its caress is not cold, but filled with security.
Its kisses are passionate and tender.

I can see him now. He’s beautiful with sparkling violet eyes.
He looks like an angel, dark hair, pale skin, black raven wings.
Death….
Carry me into the night.
Fly me through the universe.
Take me away from this mortal realm.

He’s taking my soul now.
I must leave.
Remember I died with beauty.
I love you.
Goodbye until you join me on the other side.