Eternal Suicide

Cassandra(Crimson)Marshall

Crimson floods… 
Why am I like this?
Broken… 
No shattered.
Yes. But why?

I cry myself into nightmares….
I make myself bleed for security…
Why?
The thought of a blade dragging across my skin….
Yes. Scarlet ecstasy… Why?

I can’t understand why….
When I gaze upon my reflection in the mirror…. 
I die more on the inside.
Sorrowful is the girl absorbed in the mirror staring back.
Showing me the truth… Reminding me how much I hate her.

These scars scattered across my body…. Echoing the past
This rouge, trailing from my stomach to the floor, manifests my pain today.
I fall to the floor screaming… No one hears.
Am I so utterly alone that no one cares?
Yes… I am alone.

I lay on the floor naked.
Knees drawn to my chest, arms wrapped around them.
Tears and maroon wine cascade from within…
Holding everything I hate.
Yes. Hate.

Why must I be alone…? Why must I not be saved?
Tears don’t make any difference as they pour like rain.
Crimson stains the floor. 
I know why…
I’m dead. Reliving my suicide eternally.