a memory I hate...

Hazel

As I stare at myself,
through shattered glass,
crimson tears,
shine bold as brass,

Dripping slowly, 
from my blood-stained hand,
as I slowly fall,
fall and land,

Someone release me, 
from the bowels of hell,
help me! Help me!
I'll never tell!

But no one listens,
and no one sees,
past a mask,
of a happy me,

If only they knew, 
what was going down,
their head would start spinning,
round and round,

But I plaster on a smile,
cause everything's 'fine,'
I fake my laugh,
for the thousandth time,

But when I go home,
and take it off,
everything's not dandy,
I'm cornered off,

I go back to the past,
that froths like the sea,
crashing and angry,
it stings like a bee,

That time in the forest,
it haunts me bad,
all I remember,
the abuse of my dad,

The scratchy leaves,
and the scraping twigs,
pinned under my body,
in an endless abyss,

I expect to see,
him everyday,
with his ugly eyes,
and his hair all grey,

I'm running,
I'm running,
I'm running so fast,
from my future,

my present,

my past,

Everyday I, 
relive those moments,
the memories,
now my only opponents,